Big Ken and Colleen

Kurt’s Blog: The Kimye Wedding Is Over…Marriage Probably Over Soon
Kurt’s Blog: The Kimye Wedding Is Over…Marriage Probably Over Soon

The “Wedding of the Century” is over….although, it definitely wasn’t the wedding of the century.

What about Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston in 2000? What about Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie? Although, I’m not a fan of the Royal Family, the Royal Wedding perhaps? Heck, we’ve seen two of them this century already.

When Girls Gone Wild’s Joe Francis is a guest at your wedding…it immediately disqualifies your wedding as being the “Wedding of the Century”.

At least with the Royal Wedding, an entire country was excited about it….no one was excited about this one. I’ll even take a Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes wedding. As a Bush & No Doubt fan, the Gavin Rossdale/Gwen Stefani wedding is of much more significance.

Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger’s wedding? 1000% more Wedding of the Century than this schlock.

All I kept hearing from E! was that this was a celebrity-studded wedding…what? Where? Who are these people? Joe Francis? Jaden Smith in a “White Albino Batman” outfit? (First off, why are you wearing a Batman costume? You’re weird).

I’m a celebhound…when we have celebs in the studio, or backstage…I freely admit that I get giddy, and can’t wait to get that pic. I look at this list though….David Blaine…Joe Francis…Lana Del Rey…and I have no excitement.

Sure, I would have gotten my picture with John Legend & Chrissy Teigen, but that’s just common sense, right?

When I see posts like “OMG… Malika Anjail Haqq has arrived” and “Blacchyna has arrived”…I just had to laugh…who are these people? Nobody cares. Nobody.

Beyonce & Jay-Z bailed on the wedding…they’re apparently your best friends, but they chose to stay home and post make-up free selfies of themselves instead. It’s obvious that not even fellow celebs want to associate with the Kardashians. Who knows…maybe this will be push forward to end the Kardashian nonsense.

The only photos really to surface from the wedding are from their photobooth. I love the photobooth idea at weddings…always a lot of fun. When I looked at the pics though, I realized that they had already been touched up. Who’s touching up/photoshopping photobooth pics? I know I’m vain, but not that vain.

I know it’s never enforced…many non-virgin brides wear white..but c’mon Kim, really? Luckily, I’ve never seen the video…but we all know the gist. You’re not fooling anyone.

A 20-minute speech by Kanye during the reception? Holy cow…there’s not enough alcohol at their open bar for me to survive that.

This was the biggest truth of the night…in one of the speeches, allegedly, Kanye said something about all the “talented people in the room”…to which Kim grabbed the mic and added “and all the beautiful people in the room”. Yes, you had to say something Kim, you weren’t included in the “talented” portion of the speech.

In all honesty, though, a huge congratulations…as of this moment…Kim Kardashian has completed nearly 3% of her previous marriage. Well done to her.

AWESOME is as AWESOME does!

 

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