I don’t know how Kickstarter works…but people seem to make money off it…and 8% of the time, good things happen…so why not make some money…and try a do a good thing for Des Moines.
1. Fund a kickstarter to turn the abandoned “K’s Merchandise” (over off of 86th Street) into one of two things…a Legoland Discovery Center…or…a giant combination of Pump It Up and Monkey Joes. Nothing but inflatables. A place where parents can take their kids in the winter, and they can run, jump, bounce until they pass out due to tiredness. Perfect.
Note: 21 year-old version of me hates this idea…he votes for a strip club/buffalo wing place. Oh, 21 year old Kurt, you are so dumb.
2. Bring back Vieux Carre. Remember the VC? Holy drunken good times. It was just a sea of alcohol-induced idiot. Now, this comes with a caveat (a word I’ve never used before)….we are also going to have to do a Kickstarter campaign to fund for all the security we’ll need to make sure no one ever drives home. That’s what it’ll be …a Vieux Carre Bed and Breakfast!
Done and done.
3. I love the Downtown Sculpture Park…it adds a great dimension to downtown. The problem is…I don’t know what anything is. Here’s what I want…we get a Kickstarter campaign going to bring in a piece of art that we can all explain. No more saying “Oh, this is big white guy statue”…or “That’s the creepy looking girl from The Grudge one”…I want one that I can say…”Oh, that? That’s Darrell’s Unicorn…it’s majestic, isn’t it?” See, that’s so easy…now, I won’t have to sound like an idiot…or until I say to my friends “Check out the majestic unicorn” (which sounds like a dirty pick-up line).
4.Full time traffic guy at the corner of High & 15th (I think it’s 15th). The intersection by the QT down off of Ingersoll. It’s a two-way stop…but no one seems to understand that. It’s a brutal combination of screeching brakes, people running stop signs, and then, when a pedestrian tempts fate by trying to make it across, it turns into total chaos. This guy we hire doesn’t even have to be trained…he’ll just yell at cars to tell them what to do.
5. A delivery service for RoCa. That’s common sense. That way I can have their delicious sliders delivered to my front door. (Seriously, have you been to RoCa yet? Oh man…so good).
6. Let’s install some people movers in the Downtown Skywalks. How great would that be? I tried to navigate my way through there yesterday, and it was nearly impossible, because everyone has their head down as they stare at their Smartphones as they walk. I can cast stones, because I’m one of those people too. How about this, we get those airport people mover walkways…and it can be just for people on their smartphones.
No more bumping…
no more bumping = happier people…
happier people = better attitudes at work…
better attitudes at work = better work production….
better work production = happier bosses…
happier bosses = raises.
See…people movers can make raises happen.
You’re welcome Des Moines…I accept your check.
AWESOME is as AWESOME does!
