I’m a mild-mannered man…
I let things go…(besides all the things that I harbor)…
I am afraid of confrontation.
See..this is my normal, everyday, happy face…
I mean…just the sweetest, right?
However…if you cut me in line, I’m finding that I become a man enraged…and yes, will belittle you verbally…and chase you down in the parking lot.
…and you’ll get my angry, confrontational face…
(and yes, it does appear that I turn into the Notre Dame mascot)
MONDAY: I’m at Sam’s Club….I was buying cupcakes for my son’s birthday. I pay…and get behind a gentleman in line waiting to get his receipt checked. As I’m standing directly behind him, holding my big box of cupcakes…this couple just veers in front of me from the left. They saw me…they just didn’t care.
I begin seething.
Of course, their receipt takes forever. Steam is now coming out of my ears.
Finally, they get through…my receipt takes less than 2 seconds to check.
As I’m following them out…another gentleman was pushing a cart through the exit. The husband says “Some idiots don’t know the difference between exits and entrances”…to which I finally walk by and deliver…
“Some idiots cut other people in line and are incredibly rude…and sometimes karma sucks really bad. Ya…(NSFW word).”
The couple just looks at me…they don’t say anything…they don’t look at me with indignation or anything like that. They just look at me..as if they didn’t even care they were just verbally assaulted.
To me…that means that they’ve heard it before so many times that it has lost it’s meaning.
I get to the minivan…get in, and head out of the parking lot…as luck would have it…I’m next to them at the light on 8th street…of course, I mouth my previous comment with a middle-finger salute.
However…when I do this…I don’t do it with anger…I do it like a crazy-man…it confuses people…and they don’t know what to think. It looks something like this…
Still, no reaction. I felt better.
TUESDAY: I’m at Aldis…there are 5 people in the checkout lane…I’m 4th in line…jerk man is behind me. Another checker opens his lane…the person in front of me heads over, and I follow…from out of nowhere…jerk man behind me speedwalks past me and cuts me in line.
“Are you kidding?”
No reaction from jerk man.
“Are you kidding?”
Slight head turn from jerk man.
“Seriously, dude, that was a pile of garbage”.
(Note: When other folks are around, I keep my insults PG…sometimes PG-13…they usually sound ridiculous….the word “DorkFace” comes in handy…as does “Fartypants“.)
People really don’t know how to react when a grown man calls you a fartypants.
Jerk man throws a bunch of coins at the cashier…and then rips off his own receipt from the register.
Cashier is very pleased with jerk man’s attitude…thanks me for calling jerk man out on his actions.
Cutting in line…seriously…what are you…in 4th grade?
