February stinks…it stinks. It’s the shortest month…but it feels like it’s 3 months long…3 months of being dreary…cold…depressed…it stinks.

Nobody likes February…nobody…and it’s okay to complain about it.

I complain about it…without any remorse. What’s February going to do about it? Get even more miserable? I think not. Oh no, here comes more snow…here comes more bitter cold temperatures.

This is February…everything looks like a Turd.

Whatever February…you’ve already defeated me…I don’t care.

February, I will badmouth you until the bitter, bitter end.

February’s mom is so cold…okay, I don’t have a punchline for that…but that’s right, I’ll sling Yo Mamma jokes at you February.

It’s our right to complain about this weather…and what gets to me is people who defend the weather…like they feel that they have to.

“If you don’t like it, then why are you living in Iowa?”

“Well, that’s Iowa for you…”

“Just wait 5 minutes, it’ll change.”

These are terrible excuses…and you can go on with your charade of pretending you also don’t despise February.

The “If you don’t like it, then you should move” is the dumbest comeback ever…so, what are you’re saying…and I’m terrible at fractions, so I’m just going to off a base 10 scale here…90% of the year, I’m fine with the weather…but I should get up and move due to that last 10%?

How about I just whine & complain about it for 28 days? It’s much easier than hiring 2 Men and Truck to pack up our house.

Also, I want to see the February-apologists truly “enjoy” February.

How do you become a February-apologist? What went so wrong that you had to go find joy in February?

Hey, give me 28 days of bleakness…that sounds good for me.

(anyone? anyone?)

They say you should find new things to give thanks for…today, I’m thankful that I just remembered that it’s not a Leap Year this year, so I don’t have to suffer through one more extra day of this insufferable month.

I’m Producer Kurt, and I approve this message…and disapprove of February.