Even though it was more football weather than baseball weather on Monday afternoon, nothing beats a good afternoon at Principal Park.
While my buddies and I were watching Addison Russell’s final games in Iowa…I couldn’t help but notice that a few of my favorite people were making return appearances to the ballpark.
1. The Fun Gun Runners
The Fun Gun shoots nothing but fun…and t-shirts…and there’s a group of gentleman who chase the Fun Gun throughout the stadium. They start in right field…and if they don’t get a shirt then, you’ll see them migrate down the 1st base line…faster…and faster…as they try and keep up with Jeff Tilley (after working for the I-Cubs for a few summers, it’s not just the “Fun Gun”…it’s “here comes Jeff Tilley and the Fun Gun“) and the Fun Gun…soon, they’re nearly in a dead sprint headed down the third base line concourse. Winded…tired…they stand out of breath over by the Cub Club entrance.
2. The Hot Dog Gun Runners
These are just like the Fun Gun runners…but only more intense…and more unpredictable. Hot dogs are at stake here people! They too are prepared…this time starting in the left field corner, trying to time out when the Hot Dog Gun Shooter will fire that frank into the stratosphere. The Fun Gun can be predictable…there’s a constant projectory…a constant shooter…with the Hot Dog Gun, there’s so many variables. Will the shooter be aggressive and shoot as soon as it’s loaded? Or will they be timid and only shoot about 3-4 throughout the trip around the field? Also, Hot Dog Gun runners/followers are not just men…women and children make up half this following…and they are aggressive…and fantastic. I root for anyone who runs for hot dogs.
3. The School Field Trip
When I show up to a game, and there are 4-5 yellow school buses out front…I know good times will be had. Yes, they’re loud…they’re obnoxious…but they’re hilarious.
When a guy named Sweeney approached the plate on Monday afternoon…there was silence…then some kid yelled out “Sweeney’s a weenie“! Hilarious. Soon, the whole section of kids was chanting this. It was a stinging burn…and one that I will never forget.
4. The Old Timer
I love the old-timers at the ball game. They’ve got stories…they want to share their stories…and their stories are always great. They remember every player to pass through Des Moines. Oh, and they love to take photos.
5. The Girl by the Bullpen
There’s one every game…usually wearing a Kerry Wood jersey. Her dream? Marry a pitcher. Her reality? Better luck next year….but that won’t stop her from trying.
6. The Yummy Yummy Guy
He sells ice cream treats…maybe cotton candy…I’m not sure which one…but you’ll know him when you hear him. Yummy, yummy, yummy!
7. The Non-Funny Heckler
He’s usually drunk…and he thinks he’s very funny. He’s not…dude…take a cue from the school group kids. They’re funny. There is much humor though in his failed attempts…and the hope that he’ll be removed. The non-funny heckler is usually sporting jorts…or swim trunks (he’s going to drunkenly hit the fountain later)
8. The Searchers
These “searchers” are 7-10 year olds…and they walk all the rows of seats looking for foul balls that were never claimed or other treasure. It must happen, because we saw one kid find one on Monday afternoon.
