Saturday…the battle of the disappointing…the battle for “who’s just a tad worse than the other?” Is anyone confident? As a Hawkeye fan, I am not. Cyclone fans that I’m friends with are not…but that won’t stop us.
As we approach Saturday, I have compiled and all the jokes and comebacks you’ll need to make sure you can appropriately harass your opponent.
(insert and change either team name for most of these)
Why do Iowa State football players like smart women?
Opposites attract
What do you call 70,000 Hawkeye fans holding their breath?
A field goal attempt.
How come Hawkeye football players don’t drive foreign cars?
They’re worried they won’t understand what’s on the radio.
How do you get a Cyclone off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza
A man is sitting at a park bench when another man sits next to him and they engage in conversation. Shortly after, the second man says, “So, I bet you’re a Cyclone fan”. The first man says enthusiastically, “Why yes…yes I am. How did you know? Was it my intelligence…my wit…my good looks?” The second fellow says “No, I saw you picking your nose and eating it”.
If you’re driving in Iowa City and see a Hawkeye riding a bicycle, why should you take great care in not hitting him?
It could be your bike.
Did you hear the movie they’re making about the Hawkeye field goal kickers?
Mission: Impossible
How can you tell when it’s Homecoming weekend in Ames?
The cheerleaders have braided their armpit hair.
If three Hawkeyes are in a car, who’s driving?
The police officer
Little Johnny: Mommy, I want to be a Cyclone when I grow up.
Mom: Oh Johnny, you can’t do both.
There were 2 Iowa fans heading to Adventureland. They were really excited because they had never been there before. They were driving along I-80, when they saw a sign that said “Adventureland Left”. So they turned around and went home.
It’s been reported that they found a skeleton on the Iowa campus…
It was the 1967 Hide & Seek Champion.
Did you hear about the Cyclone fan with the personalized license plate?
His dad made it in prison.
Did you hear about the Iowa grad who bought an AM Radio?
It took him two weeks to figure out that the radio works at night too.
Why is Iowa replacing the grass in Kinnick with cardboard?
The team looks better on paper.
What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a Cyclone fan?
A tattoo
Things you’ll never hear a Cyclone fan say:
- I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
- No, no more for me. I’m driving tonight.
- I just couldn’t find a thing at Walmart today
- Let’s go to a museum
- I have reviewed your application
Why don’t Hawkeyes eat M&Ms?
They’re too hard to peel.
Did you know that a Cyclone fan invented the toothbrush?
If anyone else had invented it, it would have been called a teethbrush.
What do you call a Cyclone fan with 2 brain cells?
Pregnant
A little boy and and his mother were walking in a cemetery when they came upon a headstone that read “Here lies an Iowa graduate and honest man.” The little boy asked “Mommy, why did they bury 2 people in there?”
How do you come to own a small business?
Start a large business and put an Iowa State alum in charge of it.
What do they call a crime ring in Iowa City?
A huddle
Did you hear about the Cyclone fan who was injured in a pie-eating contest?
A cow stepped on him
Knock Knock,
Who’s there?
Owen
Owen Who
Owen two.
Writer editorial here: Go Hawks.
AWESOME is as AWESOME does!
