SPOILER: I HATE THE COLD….without a further aideu….

1. When your legs get cold through your pants…. that’s ridiculous.
2. When your hands crack because they’re so dry.
3. Being bald…. the head gets so cold.
4. Wet feet all the time….
5. Realizing that this snow is probably here for the next 2 weeks.
6. Having the bottom inch of your pant leg being wet, and your socks aren’t high enough, so there’s a 2 centimeter patch of bare leg, and that wet part of the pant leg hits that part every…single…time.
7. Every doorway/entryway is a mess of slush, snow, and ice melt. It looks gross.
8. The smell after snowblowing….it’s the worst. It all goes into the wash…and I go into the shower.
9. When the wind hits you in your face…and you instantly lose any control to talk properly and you just start babbling & drooling like a fool.
10. The mess that’s left behind in the garage.
11. Ice turds on the back of cars.
12. Having to shovel.
13. Even though you wear gloves, somehow, the ice melt powder ends up in your mouth, and it sucks.
14. Having to dig out a spot for your garbage can.
15. The roads are all messy.
16. Pipes freeze.
17. It’s too cold to sled.
18. No one agrees on when a snow day should happen for schools.
19. Too many people just tell me “Hey, it’s Iowa”. Nope, that’s ridiculous.
20. If you leave your laptop in the car overnight, you’re left with no battery…and it takes a day to warm back up.
21. It takes 15 minutes to warm up your car.
22. The wind hurts your face.
23. The cold hurts your ears.
24. When the camera on your phone freezes due to the cold.
25. Snot on the face seems acceptable.
26. Adventureland isn’t open yet.
27. It’s tough driving in boots.
28. You have to lie to your kids and tell them that the weatherman says it’s too cold to go outside.
29. Feet…are…cold…all…the…time.
30. When you wear sweat/workout pants, and they get wet, and they get stuck to you.
31. When you wear jeans and they get wet, and they get stuck to you.
32. When you go to order something at the drive-thru, and your window is frozen, so you have to open your car door…and open the car door into the drive-thru window.
33. Every window is drafty.
34. You have to wear 7 layers right now.
35. I don’t know where I put my scarf.
36. I’m contemplating wearing a scarf.
37. Standing outside the kids’ school waiting to pick them up is the longest minutes of my life…and of course, they all come out not wearing hats and wanting to play outside.
38. Bones hurt.
39. Fingers hurt.
40. Gloves that promise “cellphone touch”…never live up to satisfaction.
41. Our driveway is sloped…and every time up it is an adventure.
42. The smell of burning rubber after trying to make it up our driveway.
43. Ice dams.
44. It’s this cold in Iowa, and we still haven’t seen a penguin. I want to see a darn penguin.
45. When you put something into the recycling bin outside, and the snow that’s accumulated on the top of the lid falls on you.
46. When you think you’re quick enough to run something to the trash bin outside without shoes on…only to realize that you’re not quick enough.
47. Scraping ice off your car window.
48. Pushing snow off your car windows.
49. Being on 235, and being stuck behind the car that refuses to brush the snow off the top of their car, so when they pick up speed…all that snow blows right into path of vision.

and #50…

EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING SUCKS ABOUT THIS COLD.